Local feminists, who have long championed independence and the breaking of traditional gender roles, were caught in an unexpected predicament when Mother Nature decided to unleash her fury in the form of nearly 12 inches of snowfall in less than 24 hours.
“Honestly, I thought I had everything under control,” confessed one prominent Springfield Feminist, while struggling with her snow shovel. “But after three hours of trying to dig out my car, I had to admit it: having someone around with upper body strength is necessary sometimes.”
Dressed in her best winter gear but sporting a face of defeat, this woman who once scoffed at traditional gender roles was now desperately seeking the very thing they’d often criticized – a man with a strong back. “Who knew that my feminist ideals would melt faster than snow under the sun?”
Men, who had been on the receiving end of feminist critiques, suddenly found themselves in high demand. “I never thought my ability to handle a snowblower would make me a hero,” said Mike, now dubbed ‘The Shovel Savior’ by his neighbors.
The situation led to some light-hearted moments, like when a local Feminist Book Club’s meeting turned into a ‘snow removal workshop’. “We were supposed to discuss ‘The Second Sex’ by Simone de Beauvoir, but instead, we learned how to start a snowblower,” laughed the group’s organizer.
This snow-induced revelation has led to some mockery. “Look at them now, all those years of ‘smash the patriarchy’ just to beg for a man to clear the driveway,” laughed Mike, watching his neighbors struggling from his perfectly cleared sidewalk. “Next, they’ll be asking us to open jars for them again,” he mused.
Don’t be surprised if you see a new slogan on the local feminist social media accounts: “Feminism: Strong Enough to Handle Snow, Wise Enough to Ask for Help.”
So, here’s to Springfield’s feminists, who learned the hard way that when the snow falls, so do ideologies. Perhaps they’ll remember this winter’s lesson: feminism is all well and good until you’re stuck in a snowbank.